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On the Brave Side of Fear


On the other side of fear is bravery and the tool to move through fear into bravery is courage.


There have been multiple times throughout my life that I have been debilitated by fear. Fear was a partner in most areas of my life. It would rise when I least expected it and it would stick around until I either shoved the feeling a little lower in my gut and moved on (never processing it) or I took it as a warning and turned away from the thing that brought the fear to the surface. Everything in my being had decided that fear was an enemy and I needed to do all I could to avoid it. Pick your vice, I have had many - sex, busying myself, people pleasing, drinking, partying, controlling the food that went into my body whether starving myself or over eating...each of these behaviours were escapes from having to truly confront the Fear Demon that would rear its ugly head.


Over the past five years I have been working out my courage muscle and have made some pretty drastic changes in my life at the hands of courage. I have quit two well paying, stable, benefits included sales jobs, bought a house, experienced a miscarriage, took 4 months off to recover from the miscarriage, went back to school and started my own business. Those are the coles notes of life and in between was where the hard work took place.


On the past Monday night, I took to the stage for yet another solid work out of my courage muscle and spoke in front of 40-60 people.


I have shared my stories publicly on social media through out the years and truly feel like all of the skeletons in my closet and every terrifying secret I have ever had has been exposed. Even with all of that, the idea of standing on a stage and sharing my story of some of the deepest emotional pain and trauma I have experienced in my life felt excruciating.


I have gotten to the point in my life now that when I am met with a great deal of fear, reservation and a whole ton of fuck no; this is the perfect opportunity to work out that courage muscle and practice feeling brave.


Feel the fear, acknowledge the fear and do the thing that scares you anyway!


I was in knots, struggled to find the difference between fear and excitement. I instinctively knew that if I could find a way to courage my way through this - the experience of bravery, accomplishment, pride even would be waiting for me on the other side.


I gave myself one focus - I would go and speak to one person. Make a difference for just one person and the sweat, knots in my stomach, tightness in my chest would all be worth it for that one soul that needed to hear my message.


I was terrified and I did it anyway. I got through it, I didn't make an ass of myself and I did indeed have an impact on at least one person. It was exhilarating.


I am now looking forward to my next talk on Grief in August.


My courage muscle will continue to get worked as I continue to push myself out of my comfort zone, acknowledge the fear and do the stuff that scares me. On the other side of fear is Bravery, Freedom and OH SO MUCH LOVE.


Having courage and being brave gives other people permission and strength to workout their own courage muscle. xo




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