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Seeking Solace

Feeling depleted, restless, an urgency for action and no reserve to move forward and no idea where forward is.

I was in desperate need of getting away and could only communicate where I didn't want to go. I came home after a client on Saturday and Daren had found us a place to stay, booked it and had a whole plan put together - we were headed to Kaledon, close to pentiction. I instantly felt disappointed and anxious and I knew I could not go there. "I just really wanted to go somewhere there are trees. I feel like I need the trees and the ocean - can we go to the island?"

Within the hour, Daren had cancelled the Airbnb in Kaledon and had found and booked one in Qualicum beach. We were headed to the island. (My husband is an incredible human by the way)

There are few times in my life (actually this may be the first) when I have felt so at home and comforted by my place in the world. So sure of the person that I am, how I am showing up and that I am showing up in the most authentic way I can.

How is it possible then to so explicitly clear of who I am and how I am showing up in the world while feeling depleted, with an urgency for action and an uncertainty of my physical space in the world?

It has been clear to me for quite some time, a few years really, that where we purchased our home and reside has never really felt like home to me. I have lived places where I have physically felt at home and been so distant and disconnected to my soul that I really didn't know who I was or how I wanted to show up in this world. Now I feel like I have flipped....

This weekend we stayed on a hobby farm just outside of Qualicum Beach - Horse, pony, cats and a dog, amazing little place, peaceful, quiet, fresh and felt like a real life solace.

Here is what I was reminded of this weekend away, this feeling of unsettled and needing to make a decision about where we live is yet another opportunity to surrender. Do nothing, rest, replenish and trust and surrender to the will of the universe. Coming to an acceptance and allowance of what life will bring.

So often we busy ourselves with decisions to make, things to do and perhaps all there is to do is to stop, rest, allow your energy banks to refill and allow the natural unveiling of the net steps of life to reveal themselves rather than pushing to "make things happen".

The idea of allowing a natural unveiling has been a foreign and misunderstood concept for me. I used to firmly believe that in order for things to happen, I had to be making them happen and there are most certainly situations where this is true. Decisions do need to be made and actions do need to be taken - AND when a decision is unclear, the next steps to take feel like there are multiple possibilities and none of them feel right or wrong, and your gut is not guiding you in any direction at all, that is the time to stop, rest and reset. Allowing the space of life to reveal itself in due time.

This is an opportunity to practice anchoring the mind, body and spirit together as one so that when the time arises where a decision needs to be made, you are connected to yourself and on all levels are making the decision that is best mentally, spiritually and physically.

I am being challenged once again to connect back to my body. Embrace my body, mind and soul simultaneously. I currently do not have a practice that encompasses all three. Balance is Hard.

So over the next little while here I will endeavour to practice bringing my body back into alignment with my mind and soul. Moving my body, feeding my body in a a nourishing way and the foods it wants.

My practice is to stop, slow down, rest when my body asks for it. Alignment - here I come. :)

Qualicum Beach Sunsets xo

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