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The Reflection of Your Internal World



 

In a conversation with a friend the other day, I was reminded of a concept that was introduced to me early on in my spiritual/self-discovery journey. The concept that everything that is in existence in our external world, our lives, is a direct reflection on our internal world, ie. how you feel about yourself, how you see yourself in the world and how you are choosing to show up.


I recall my initial reaction to this and it was not one of embrace and understanding!


At the time this concept was presented to me, I hated my job, was deeply dissatisfied with my marriage and my relationship with my husband, I was unhappy with my body, lifestyle, where we lived...and the list went on and on and on. I had reached a depth of disappointment for my life, what I thought I wanted, where I thought I would be, what I thought I was supposed to have accomplished, etc. had not transpired according to my plan. I had no idea that I was holding the key to change it the entire time.


It was in the idea that what was going on in my world around me was a direct reflection of my world inside of me, that allowed me to regain my power of my external world. If I was seeing a reflection of myself in the troubled relationships, discontent in my job, my body, lifestyle, fertility struggles etc. there was an opportunity for me to take back the control of my external world through better understanding what was going on for me internally.


I will take this opportunity to say that "shit happens". There are events in our lives that happen regardless of our internal energy state and I do believe that each challenge in our life is an opportunity to expand beyond our current understanding of self and how we exist in the world around us, I don't necessarily believe that all challenges and trauma are of our own making. There are a billion factors that come into play.


AND


Reflecting on your internal balance and energy is a great way to begin taking personal responsibility for your external world reality.


I was working in a career that I fell into out of convenience, default and survival. I was very good at it and was making more money than I had ever made before. One would have thought looking from the outside in that I had it all. A great career, making good money, a wonderful husband, living in a beautiful home....All the ingredients to create happiness right?!


WRONG!


I was living my life in a space of masculine energy most of the time and had very little boundaries between where my work ended and my personal life began. I was holding onto old trauma, grief, shame and disappointment. I had a hard time being with myself, let alone anyone else. I had expectations for my life that were based upon what I thought others expected of me and what I thought society deemed acceptable, notable and worthy.


I had failed at all things I thought I was supposed to be doing and what was left was a shell of a woman who not only didn't know herself, her wants, needs and desires; she also had no idea how or why she was here, living this life.


There had to be a willingness to see the good, the bad, the ugly and the down right darkest most terrible parts of myself - Yes they exist. From this place of willingness, shifts began to happen. People came into my life and presented ideas and thoughts that I had ever considered before. I was introduced to places and concepts that felt so insanely authentic. I started saying YES to plans, people and ideas that felt good - not out of obligation and because they felt authentic to me.


Meditation - YES, healthy whole foods, fresh veggies and happy meat - YES, spending time with friends who nourished me and called me out on my shit - YES, spending time in nature, by the water, amidst the trees, toes in the sand or grass - YES, being introduced to a spiritual Badass that spoke of things far beyond my understanding and comfort level AND felt so right - YES.


Grounding and drawing my energy back to me.


So many times we are focused on and caught up in what is going on around us that we can forget to focus on ourselves. Forget to check in with our internal navigation system to hear and see if that is truly what we want. I think sometimes we get going on auto pilot and out internal navigation system (our gut, intuition - whatever you want to call it) gets drowned out by all the noise. It is only in the creation of space and time for our self that we begin to reacquaint ourselves with the wisdom of our internal navigation system.


Try these practices on for size...

  • Instead of focusing on what our spouse/friend/partner/parent etc. has not or is not doing for us - Try on, what have I done, or what can I do for them.

  • Spend some time alone - go for a walk, head to a coffee shop with your journal, go to a yoga class, book yourself in for a massage or facial, meditate. Spend some time getting to know yourself again.

  • Find a counsellor, coach, mentor, teacher....to hold you accountable and work through the really tough stuff with.

  • Discover and expressive experience, whether it be painting, drawing, colouring, building something - set yourself in a space of creation and see what comes out.

  • If something is not working or you feel stuck in your life - GET CURIOUS. What is going on for you? How does it feel in your body? What parts of it make it feel impossible?

  • and last but not least - REACH OUT!



604-612-7834


kennedywithlove@gmail.com





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